Time for a little diversion. Tis the season, right? So pour some nog. Turn on your tinkle-y cubicle lights. Take a break from your Facebook break. And let’s see how many great one-liners you can place from some of these holiday cinema speactulars.
[Remember: Santa knows what you Google.]
- “So if you believe in Father Christmas like your uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record.”
- “This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”
- “You smell like beef and cheese you don’t smell like Santa.”
- [singing:] “Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree…”
- “Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.”
- “Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!”
- “You can’t show that commercial, that thing looked like the Manson Family Christmas Special.”
- “I want a stuffed elephant, a pink one [from santa] well wish in one hand and shit in the other and tell me which one fills up first.”
- “Are you a professional ukulele player? No, I’m a writer. What do you write? T-Shirts.”
- “I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including inbetween my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed.”
- “Don’t be a cheerleader for santa claus, think about it, watch the angles, don’t drink the kool aid.”
Need some help? Here are the matches.
And here are the answers:
1. Love Actually
2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
3. Elf
4. Ernest Saves Christmas
5. A Christmas Story
6. It’s A Wonderful Life
7. Scrooged
8. Bad Santa
9. Mixed Nuts
10. Home Alone
11. Fred Claus
So what are your favorites?